The Gift Riddle
by M Ryan Taylor
Copyright © 2008 M Ryan Taylor

[To be chanted aloud.]

Far in the east there is a gift that brings both fear and fame,
an offering of great renown but even greater shame,
for while the gift’s an honor it’s a burden all the same:
A gift like this is not a gift by any other name.

So sacred it must always rest.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
Yet, you must always give to it a portion of your best.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
Creamy white when should be gray.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
What can eat 300 lbs of veggies in a day?
Ho! Ha! White Elephant!
Ho! Ha! White Elephant!

Ten foot tall and eight foot wide.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
Eating up your gardenside.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
You’d give it away, but your friends run and hide.
Ho! Ha! White Elephant!
Ho! Ha! White Elephant!

So, though today we laugh at it and call it but a game,
the consequence of wrapped-up jest can shake a feeble frame;
White Elephants are potent and will ever fear inflame,
so offer by the golden rule and give your gift acclaim!

Never wrap up your half-eaten sandwich.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
Never put a bow on a bent-prongued fork.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
Never give a sock that’s lost it’s mate.
Ho! Ha! Ho! Ha!
Offer up an article that really is first-rate:
That crockpot that you never use
That album that you’d hate to lose
Swapping can be so much fun when there are things to choose from . . .
Ho! Ha! White Elephant!
Ho! Ha! White Elephant!